Comments on Diamonds and Toads: Curses! Curses!

I absolutly believe the idea of "happily ever...

2011-04-23T11:18:48.793-07:00

I absolutly believe the idea of "happily ever after" is a malediction. I can say that before i took Kate W fairy tale class i used this term but my opinion has changed very much since ive started reading and discussing classic fairy tales. I really do think it is a curse. People have little understanding of what the characters in fairy tales endure. And as for the happy ending i dont think any prince in tales are a good choice. The idea of happily ever after in real life isnt going to happen. Life is challenging and things will not always go our way. And as for relationships they take work. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage or perfect family. If a person truly believes that they are going to have a happily ever after they are certainly setting themselves up for failure and let down. Not to mention would someone always want ever thing to be perfect. I certainly wouldnt!

I’m just going to be honest and say that before th...

2010-10-27T15:02:58.570-07:00

I’m just going to be honest and say that before this post I has never heard the word “malediction.” Judging by the definition I think this fairy tale class may be the only time I hear this word. “Happily ever after” perfectly ties into the issue that fairy tales are so far from reality that it seems wrong to use them to teach children . Yes, marriage is a wonderful thing, but you’re completely right, it is not a perfect “happily ever after” that follows from “I do.” And in reality “happily ever after” might not follow the handsome prince coming to save you, in many cases, and for many different women, “happily ever after” comes from ditching that prince and moving on with your life. When it comes to fairy tales, I see “happily ever after” as a blessing. No one wants to read a story where there was a “sad ever after.”

Rachel P.

I think "happily ever after" exists diff...

2010-10-26T19:43:01.300-07:00

I think "happily ever after" exists differently to every individual according to their perceptions. There are many things that help us achieve happiness. Marriage is a perfect example of achieving happiness, but even them it is impossible to live "happily ever after." Marriage, like many other things, comes with up's and down's that flip happiness to frustration and anger. I remember that when I was younger I desired a "happily ever after" thinking nothing could be better. Now I realize that it is impossible to meet someone, like a prince, and fall madly in love with him then get married a couple days latter, if not the same day, and live "happily ever after." The point is I definitely believe in entering the stage of happiness but I also believe in switching to other stages, like sad, angry, mad, and so forth, from time to time.
Yesenia C.

I believe that “happily ever after” is said with t...

2010-03-21T18:30:12.867-07:00

I believe that “happily ever after” is said with the intentions of being a blessing, but in reality is a curse. There is no way it would be possible to go an entire lifetime without having some sort of disagreement with your marriage partner. Also, as many others said, life would be so boring if you were happy all of the time and never experienced any other emotions. I believe life is full of little lessons. You have to make mistakes and learn from them. You also have to experience bad times in order to appreciate the good ones. There is no way I could be happy every single day of my life, and have a one-hundred percent perfect relationship. If I did come across a guy who seemed too good to be true and always did what I wanted him to do, I would probably try to start an argument with them on purpose. I would not do it to be mean. I would do it just to liven things up, and test the waters.

I also like to point out another thing. Most of the marriages that occur in fairy tales are spontaneous. The majority of them occur the same day the couple meets. I definitely do not think it would be possible to live “happily ever after” with someone I just met that day! That is just insane.

I think the idea of “happily ever after” is both a...

2010-03-18T07:19:31.194-07:00

I think the idea of “happily ever after” is both a curse and a blessing. In certain tales the female characters are often cursed by others, figuratively or literally. They are often victims of nasty plots put on by other characters and are often doomed to suffer at the hands of jealous fiends. The idea of “happily ever after” is not based in reality, once the characters are able to overcome or defeat the evil force that is plotting against them they end up “happily ever after” with a Prince. But these tales rarely have sequels which makes it harder to prove that the newly happy couples ever indeed live happily ever after. Since real life is an ongoing cycle there will always be ups and downs “happily ever after” is hardly possible but in fairy tales it seems to be different. In these tales the characters have an ongoing battle with evil and either win or survive and then live the rest of their lives eternally happy. Maybe “happily ever is the blessing these heroines receive for all they suffering they had previously endured.

Giovanni

I think living happily ever after is certainly a p...

2010-02-28T20:21:59.838-08:00

I think living happily ever after is certainly a possibility. Undoubtedly people cannot be happy twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, for we go through several emotions in just one day. To live happily ever after is more of a blanket statement. Overall most people are content with their life. The reason people may feel that “happily ever after” is more of a curse, something one can never possibly reach, is because they relate to Disney fairy tales. They associate happily ever after with royalty, castles, wealth, and a handsome prince. Now that is what I call setting the bars high! I think to simply end the story with saying everyone lives on happily is a method to appease a young reader. I remember when I was younger and finished a book I would be so upset. I couldn’t believe that the story had ended because I always wanted to know more. I wanted to know the character’s entire life story and know that they were all right. Simply saying that they all lived happily ever after is fairly straightforward and satisfying enough for a younger audience.
Gabrielle L.

The word "malediction" seems to be a ver...

2010-02-06T07:30:52.597-08:00

The word "malediction" seems to be a very dark in it self. Not a word that you would be using in any Disney fairy tales, because it does not happen there we see everyone living happily ever after. I think the people watching the Disney movies are in "malediction," if that's the correct way to say that. Especially me I know deep down that no one can have a fairy tale like Disney portrays but it's something that we all desire and unfortunately some actually strive for. The ones' that go after the happy endings end in failure they have been running for something that has never exist. Those people don’t want anything to ever go wrong in their life’s with their husband, wife, or special someone, having this illusion in their head it has lead to failure for them because they try so hard to be happy everyday in their life. How can you be happy every day it's not possible for anyone. So yes, I do think the world "malediction" is a curse because some people want the fairy tales that end with a happy ending but in reality it does not happen that way. We can be with someone for the rest of our life’s and be so happy with that person which I do believe but I cant say it will be a happily ever after but a good and bad life, lived by the person we fall in love with.
KM

Fairy tales were written for many purposes. On of ...

2009-12-10T18:14:49.169-08:00

Fairy tales were written for many purposes. On of the purposes is the teach children that life can be like a fantasy. However, in really life is tough but we want to believe that there is a new world where the dreams come true. Princesses and princes live their life “happy ever after”. It is similar to the famous phrase “Those whom God has joined together let no one put asunder” people do not live happy ever after --especially does who are marry for many years. They just get used to each other and learn how handle hard situations. Humans are greedy and we always want something different and new adventures. In most of fairy tales couples end up “happy ever after” in real life couple end up with divorce. There are some exceptions but most people do not live their life happy ever after, not in this life.
Ever A.

Interesting question. I don’t think a couple can,...

2009-12-10T15:30:10.546-08:00

Interesting question. I don’t think a couple can, or should, be happy together forever. I think what the happily ever after is referring to is the mean of good against bad. If you assigned a positive number to all the happy times together, then took all the bad times and assigned them a negative number, if you added all those up if you were living happily ever after you would get a positive number.
Another thing that I was thinking about was the fairy tales themselves. Happily ever after is an ending, its like dying. There’s a reason you don’t have sequels to these tales. Take the Juniper tree. Yes the father gets a pass but the little boy has to live with the feelings of dying and his father letting him marry such a mean wife that would do such a thing to him. Marlene just watched her mother die. These are traumatic things that would make a better TV drama than a fairy tale. (This is not to say that bad things do on happen in fairy tales)

Let’s first define “Happily ever after!” What is i...

2009-12-10T09:29:42.365-08:00

Let’s first define “Happily ever after!” What is it? Personally I think it’s a myth made up in stories to keep our mind not wondering what happened after. There is no better finish than “And they lived happily ever after.” It doesn’t leave any thoughts for after. It simply states “ever after.”
Why am I ranting about “ever after?” Simple, I don’t believe in it. There is no such think, we cannot function like that. Our life does not belong in that story. We’re way too hectic to be able to calm down and do it. Also, I deeply believe that we need some excitement in life to actually be happy. There is no better feeling than the one after the fight is over and you get that hug. If we lived “happily ever after,” our life would be meaningless and it simply cannot last that way.
Reason I decided to respond to this is not actually because of the word "malediction," unfortunately I had no idea it even existed until I read this. But to touch up on the actual topic, it is an interesting word and I will try to incorporate it in my life a little more.

As we would all like to think that "happily e...

2009-12-08T20:50:36.998-08:00

As we would all like to think that "happily ever after" is true, older I get and the more experience I have in the real world, I find that it is not true. But a belief doesn't have to be true to. I believe that it can happen. Of course things are not always going to be perfect, especially in a marriage, but when I think of "happily ever after" I think of the big picture. I think of how good things are considering how bad they could have been. I think about how blessed my life is considering all the evil in the world. "Happily ever after" doesn't have to mean that a couple can have a relationship without fighting or arguing ever. I think "happily ever after" is a blessing. Every one can say they want to live “happily ever after”, but no one ever defines what constitutes as “happily ever after.” Are you living in the closest thing to your notion of a fairy tale now and don't even recognize it? "Happily ever after" to me means a life full of love and strong bonds with not only my significant other but with my family and friends. I won’t ever let go of my fairy tale idea that “happily ever after” truly does exist.

I think it's interesting how many people are c...

2009-12-08T06:11:16.115-08:00

I think it's interesting how many people are completely panning the idea of "happily ever after." Certainly no one is going to literally experience a constant feeling of active joy for the rest of their life, but it's important to remember that happiness is a relative term. Professor Tal Ben-Shahar wrote an excellent book about happiness, and one of his basic arguments was that there is no such thing as "perfect" happiness - in fact, he claimed that the pursuit of happiness is part of what makes life enjoyable.

"Therefore rather than asking myself whether I am happy or not, a more helpful question is, "how can I become happier?" This question acknowledges the nature of happiness and the fact that its pursuit is an ongoing process best represented by an infinite continuum, not a finite point. I am happier today than I was five years ago, and I hope to be happier five years from now than I am today."

A long quote, but I feel it gets the point across very well.

So, if we accept that happiness is relative, why can't someone live "happily ever after?" That doesn't mean they never get upset, or they never argue with their spouse, but that they aren't depressed, and are generally happy with their life. And if someone genuinely feels they're living a happy life, that's all that counts.

Finally, it's interesting to note that the very concept of so-called "fairy tale endings" is doomed when you try to apply it in reality, chasing after that kind of happiness is completely self-defeating, no matter how many of your goals you achieve, you'll still have to deal with reality's problems. Thus the pursuit of "fairy tale" happiness, impossible to achieve, will often cause unhappiness.

So yes, I believe "happily ever after" is possible, it just depends on how you define happiness.

I agree with what Adam said completely. I believe...

2009-12-07T19:56:40.833-08:00

I agree with what Adam said completely. I believe that "happily ever after" is indeed a curse. I honeslty don't believe one can live "happily ever after." Happiness is simply an emotion that can come and go. One cannot be happy every day of his or her life. If that were even possible, think about all the other emotions you would be missing out on. A person cannot be complete without living and learning which means plenty of ups and downs. I can't even imagine only experiencing one emotion for the rest of my life. It would be a life of eternal depression. Besides statistics show that "happily ever after" doesn't work. I'm not sure, but I think the statistic is that about half of all marriages end in divorce. It also doesn't help that most of my family has been divorced including my parents, so I could be biased. If there is such a thing as a happily ever after, I sure hope it's not a malediction. I would like to believe there is such a thing as living "happily ever after."
Whitney M.

‘Malediction’ is one of those fascinating words th...

2009-12-06T12:17:45.877-08:00

‘Malediction’ is one of those fascinating words that no one really uses anymore. Shoot, I’m sure that if you took a random poll of people, you wouldn’t even find many who had even heard the word, much less actually knew what it meant. As for is “Happily Ever After” a malediction, I would say that would probably be very much so. There is an old proverb out there that says ‘be careful what you wish for, you just might get it’, and dreaming of a happily ever after would most definitely fall into that category. Can you imagine how boring life would be if nothing ever happened? No challenges to overcome… Nothing to strive for… If everything comes easily to you where is the satisfaction of learning something new? Where is the sense of accomplishment? Even having a happy marriage does not mean that there is nothing to strive for in that relationship.

This blog is great. I think everyone has their own...

2009-12-04T18:46:03.100-08:00

This blog is great. I think everyone has their own opinions on this so it will be interesting to see all the comments.

In most fairy tales I’ve read in class there has not been a “happily ever after” ending. I would say it is the same for us as well.

I would have to say I don’t think there is such thing as “happily ever after.” I don’t believe so because I don’t know anyone that has been in a relationship or even not in a relationship and very independent that could honestly say they have always been happy. I don’t believe anything or anyone is perfect and someone would have to be perfect to live happily ever after.

“Is ‘happily ever after’ a blessing, a curse, even a remote possibility?” I think the question is kind of simply to answer. In my opinion it is a curse. I feel like if someone told me that I was going to live happily ever after, I would be cursed because it’s not real. I don’t believe its remotely possible so it would definitely be a curse, or give me bad luck, rather than being a blessing.

This whole notion of 'happily ever after' ...

2009-12-01T10:30:39.251-08:00

This whole notion of 'happily ever after' is indeed a curse.

Besides the fact that it's unquestionable unattainable, who would want it? Aren't we able to know happiness if only because we, conversly, know sadness?

After all, it's hard to know what it means to love if you've never been loved; it's hard to know true joy if you've never known heartbreak. Life is a series of juxtapositions and our emotions are an endless array of peaks and valleys -- who would want it to be any different?

I'm reminded of the old adage, "strive for perfection and you will achieve greatness". It doesn't say that perfection is possible, because it isn't, but if you pretend that it is, and though you'll fall far short of it, you'll turn out just fine in the end.

You have to be content with being happy in the moment, and not worry so much about what comes after.

-Adam K.

To be honest before you posted the word maledictio...

2009-11-28T10:39:23.720-08:00

To be honest before you posted the word malediction, it was not a word I even thought about using so didn’t get the point to rest of post. But to me happily ever after is all in the mind of the person thinking it. To some they love to live a life filled with peace of mind and lots of quiet free time to read and ponder life, but to another who loves the chaos of life this would be a horrible way to spend their life. Some people love to argue and fight and really thrive in that environment. So to try to gauge what happily ever after is you really have to look inside you and see what makes you happy.
John J

I am grateful to Josh B.’s musings upon the ideal ...

2009-11-22T12:45:56.273-08:00

I am grateful to Josh B.’s musings upon the ideal of “happily ever after” as being dependent upon the belief system in which you find belonging. I would like to add however, that belief systems who view suffering as attachment (to ones desires, for money, love, sex and a plethora of other things sought after by capitalists and socialists alike) would take a more complex view of embracing notions of happily ever after. The Dalai Lama claims that those who reach Nirvana, Buddhahood or “happily ever after” in their human bodies as a means of escapism miss the point. Suffering is seen as the flip side of compassion, and should be fostered and stewarded in ones being according to these beliefs. In this, suffering is a teacher, and feelings outside the realm of happily ever after ever so ironically are exactly the sort of things that lead one into it.
Melissa L.

The idea of living "happily ever after" ...

2009-11-17T18:52:09.562-08:00

The idea of living "happily ever after" is absolutely a pleasant idea. However, I think that perhaps if you take the "ever" out, it may seem more possible. Marriage is a difficult task to complete if you are not up to the job, but if you are than indeed you can live happily after. You can live happily after you get married. Marriage usually takes place in the form of a ceremony, which is done to represent a new chapter in your life, to signify that you are moving away from your parents and on to your new life with your partner. That is also what happens at the end of most fairy tales. A marriage and then the hero or heroin or both live happily ever after. So, if their family that they had before was a curse to them, as bad parents or step-parents would be, then perhaps "happily ever after," or just happily after, is a malediction. If two people truely love eachother and are willing to fall in love over and over again over the rest of their lives and work together as one, then I do believe that it is possible to live "happily ever after," atleast most of the time.

Julia C.

The problem is a person's definition of happin...

2009-11-17T09:50:12.348-08:00

The problem is a person's definition of happiness. From personal experience, even when my mood is not happy, like for example when I am in a misunderstanding with a loved one, I am still living in a state of happiness because I have the ability to converse my view and understand that person's viewpoint.

Interestingly, the English language only has one meaning for the verb “To be,” where as the Spanish language has two – estar and ser (this is my major). In each, there is a distinction between a state of being (emotion) or location and a person’s characteristic/origin/nationality. Therefore, one can argue that happiness or being happy is a characteristic of a person.

The joke is that people tend to take the word "happy" and place it into a boxed meaning. What I am trying to get to is that one must understand their anger/sadness/stupidity/jealousy/happiness and whatever else as a fluctuating state of being in order to come to a state of impeccability. These are emotions - not characteristics. Therefore, living happily ever after entails the distinction between emotion and characteristic because to me, a happily ever after scenario means to be in the presence of loved ones. My characteristic is always happy because I have a good outlook on life. For this reason, my emotions take a sidelined approach to my overall being.

I think happily ever after is a goal. It is the u...

2009-11-16T18:12:37.537-08:00

I think happily ever after is a goal. It is the ultimate goal. While some may admit that it is an unattainable goal, it does give something to shoot for. Why not shoot for the top? What else would you want? Maybe "marginally happy ever after"? How about "mediocre happiness ever after"? Or maybe "just-getting-by ever after"? Just doesn't seem to have the same ring, does it?

Having the goal for things to be the best that they can be helps us to strive for that end. If we don't seek for the best happiness in our relationships, they are destined to fall prey to neglect.

By the way, this picture may be one of my favorites that you have posted. It's so beautiful and you can feel the emotion in it!

I suppose the “happily ever after” condition, whet...

2009-11-15T18:47:16.302-08:00

I suppose the “happily ever after” condition, whether it is good or bad, may be culturally relative. Depending on one’s philosophical believes, the opinion will likely vary. For example, many sects of Hindus believe that human life is suffering; that everything we do has inherently sufferable repercussions—so “happily ever after” for them may very well be a malediction, as it would be contradictory to their beliefs. Many Americans, part of a capitalistic society, take most advantage of what is cheap, easy, and makes them happy, sometimes regardless of social scruples. I would think that, based on our general beliefs, we would find the “happily ever after” predicament to be a benediction, not a malediction. We sanction most anything that results in our enjoyment. Whether one belief is good or bad is, again, up to the individual, but one philosophy is certainly more culturally convenient than the other. To me, “Happily ever after,” were it ethically possible, would be valuable.

Josh B.

Like many others have touched on, “happily ever af...

2009-11-15T08:38:23.798-08:00

Like many others have touched on, “happily ever after” has a different meaning for different people. I do not think that people can live forever happy because there are bad times along with the good ones. However, I agree with what some others have said that “happily ever after” can be possible if it is viewed as an overall summary of the relationship. I think that as long as the relationship as a whole is good for both people and they love each other then we could say they lived “happily ever after”; maybe not happily every day after but happy overall.

To think of “happily ever after” as a curse though is quite interesting. For instance, in many fairy tales we get to see how the couple meets and maybe a wedding. In many instances the couple barely know each other and the relationship begins based on the fact that the young woman is beautiful. To wish “happily ever after” on someone could mean to hope that the relationship is only in existence because a woman is beautiful and not because the man actually loves her for who she is. In that way it could be like a curse.

I think happily ever after can and does happen, bu...

2009-11-14T07:22:29.881-08:00

I think happily ever after can and does happen, but I think it's all in the person's perception. Everyone has problems, that's just life. However I think that if one is happy with their life, if they get what they want out of life that is happily ever after. This is a little personal but from my perspective, I always dreamed about the 'perfect' guy. I read Twilight and thought ooh, that's the kind of guy I want to marry.(I know a lot of people don't agree Edward is awesome, but I completely love him sorry.) However, a few years after reading the book I fell for my best friend who is nothing like Edward, but in a way, in my eyes he is, or better. I could marry him, and though I know without a doubt we would argue, disagree, and I have wanted to strangle him and will again, to me being with him even though it's not perfect, that is happily ever after.

It's funny that I read this post just after po...

2009-11-13T11:53:35.136-08:00

It's funny that I read this post just after posting on my blog questions about what happines is.
I think that if you are never unhappy you cannot know when you are happy, so "happily ever after" is a malediction in this view.
But! I am not an english speaking person and the word "happily" to me sounds as a diminutive of the word "happy" (I know it is not like this, but it just sounds). So the phrase is talking about a life with more happy than unhappy moments.